I've taken to riding an exercise bike
and watching a movie every day to kill two birds with one stone.
Mortal Kombat (1995)
Surprisingly good and probably the best
video game movie adaptation. It plays smart by keeping it close to
the original “Deathmatch Tournament” plot with broadly-drawn
archetypes meeting up to punch each other.
Set design is outstanding and the CGI
isn't overused beyond the limits of mid-90s graphics. Christopher
Lambert is a stroke of genius as Raiden. The rest of the heroes are
well handled, especially Johnny Cage's story arc. The Goro
costume/effects are impressive. Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa steals the show
as douchebag sorcerer Shang Tsung.
The fight scenes rely too much on quick
cuts. Scorpion doesn't do much except have a cool fight with Cage.
Sub-Zero dies like a bitch.
Unpretentious and a lot of fun.
Probably the best Paul W. S. Anderson movie I've seen.
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
(1997)
The sequel that replaces almost the
entire cast except Liu Kang and Kitana. James Remar (from the
Warriors) does a serviceable job as Raiden, but lacks the touch of
amused madness that made Lambert's version so good. Brian Thompson
(the bad guy from Cobra) is halfway to a good Shao-Kahn, but
making him into a daddy's boy hurts the character badly, but that's
also because Shinnok ruins everything.
Surprisingly faithful to Mortal Kombat
3's plot, it suffers from a plot that's more ambitious than its
budget can allow. Smoke and Cyrax get fun fights. Nightwolf shows up
for one scene to spout vision quest nonsense about animalities to Liu
Kang. The heroic Sub-Zero II (yes, that's canon) shows up to fight
Scorpion, spout some ninja nonsense, and then vanishes entirely from the
movie in a complete waste of one of the series' most popular
characters. Sheeva, Rain, and Baraka die like chumps. Which I guess is in character, but still...
CGI is more heavily used, to its
detriment. Motaro looks like ass. Liu Kang and Shao-Kahn's dragon vs
hydra Animality fight is AWFUL. Set design remains pretty good.
Considerably weaker than the first.
Pretty bad, but entertaining at least.
Every Which Way But Loose (1978)
Clint Eastwood as street fighting
trucker Philo Beddoe with a pet orangutan named Clyde. No reason
given for Clyde. No reason needed.
Philo falls in love with a mysterious
country-western singer Lynn Halsey-Taylor who leaves him one night
and he takes off after her with his ape and his best friend Orville
(Geoffrey Lewis).
Philo's something of an asshole since
he keeps provoking fights everywhere he goes. He pisses off an idiot
biker gang and a short-fused pair of cops. Both groups chase after
him.
Its funny, and shows the American
working class as affable and heroic. His sidekick Orville finds love
with a young Beverly D'Angelo, but Philo himself discovers that the
woman he's followed to Denver from California is a shallow, selfish
manipulator.
Its good, but fairly subversive toward
the idea of romance. Doesn't really stick the landing. Its got an old
lady blowing up motorcycles with a shotgun, though, so there's that.
Heroes of the East AKA Shaolin
Challenges Ninja AKA Zhong hua zhang fu (1978)
Shaw Brothers production. Directed by
veteran martial artist/stunt actor/director Chia-Liang Liu and
starring Shaw Brothers staple Gordon Liu/Chia-Hui Liu. Action comedy
about a Chinese man put into an arranged marriage with a Japanese
woman. Both like each other, but both are martial artists and deeply
proud of their respective heritages/styles.
Misunderstandings lead to arguments,
which lead to some Taming of the Shrew
moments and then lead to him inadvertently insulting all of her
martial arts teachers, who show up looking to avenge the insult.
Cue a
series of fights where Liu has to fight them off one by one, using
different Chinese Kung Fu styles against their varied Japanese
styles.
Its
got a light touch and (typical of the genre) the fight scenes are
where it shines. Nunchaku, katana, jian swords, spears, sai,
butterfly swords, three-sectioned-staff, judo, karate, drunken
boxing, crane style, ninjutsu, etc. Watch Kung Fu movie fight
choreography, and you'll see how just about every modern Western
action director needs to be slapped in the face repeatedly for their
terrible editing choices.
Naturally,
the Chinese protagonist wins (reconciling with his wife along the
way), but the Japanese fighters aren't treated like cartoon villains
like in a lot of other Kung Fu cinema (remember, WWII Japan was not
kind to China). Its a showcase and celebration of different styles of
martial arts. Entertaining and impressive.
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