“I couldn’t have an ordinary ghost on my hands, I got a rummy! A big, ugly, booze-soaked rummy!”

After last week, I’d say we’re done with mummies. OR ARE WE?? This next film carries a lot of nostalgia for me, since it was on a VHS that encompassed most of what I loved as a kid. Disney, ghosts, pirates, the 60’s aesthetic (before I knew how to spell “aesthetic”), and comedy. It’s time for 1968’s Blackbeard’s Ghost.

Plot
After an opening title crawl boasting about how badass a villain Blackbeard the pirate was, we head to the coastal town of Godolphin. The new track coach drives into town one night and will be staying at the Blackbeard Inn, a suitably piratey establishment run by a group of kindly old spinsters called the Daughters of the Buccaneers who claim to be the descendants of Blackbeard's crew. A local nightclub owner has bought their mortgage and is trying to run them out so he can build an off-shore casino.

Our hero arrives during a fundraiser, buys an old warming pan to impress a female professor at the college, gets assigned to Blackbeard’s old bedroom and accidentally sits on the warming pan, breaking it. Inside the handle, he finds an old fragment of parchment containing part of the spell book of Aldetha Teach, one of Blackbeard’s wives who was burned at the stake for witchcraft and cursed him to spend eternity in limbo until he displayed a shred of human kindness. Naturally he ends up summoning Blackbeard from said limbo and has a raging alcoholic ghost that only he can see tagging along as he tries to get his track team in shape for the Broxton Relay, steal the football coach’s girlfriend, and find a way to keep the Daughters of the Buccaneers from being kicked out of their home.

Characters
Steve Walker: Dean Jones (star of most of the Herbie the Love Bug related projects and other Disney films) is our hero. A straight-laced, teetotaler of a track coach, he’s a decent, charitable fellow but also a fish out of water in Godolphin. He inherits the worst track team in the state (his shot putter, Gudger Larkin, looks like he weighs 90 pounds soaking wet) and only has a few weeks before the big relay. Blackbeard is a huge annoyance for him (and causes people to think he’s gone crazy like the previous track coach) and he tries to get the old salt to do a selfless act.

Edward Teach/Captain Blackbeard: You can tell Peter Ustinov was having an absolute blast as Blackbeard. More of a poltergeist than a regular ghost, since he can affect the mortal world (like stealing bottles of hooch, stealing a motorcycle, stealing fat wads of cash, and steali--, er, punching goons in the face), Blackbeard is gleefully reprobate and tries to teach Steve to loosen up and have some fun. He lies, he cheats, and he has mood swings like a spoiled child, Ustinov’s Blackbeard is a hoot in this and reason enough to watch the film.

Jo Anne Baker: Suzanne Pleshette is a psychology professor at Godolphin College. Steve meets her when he mistakenly thinks she runs the kissing booth at the Buccaneer fundraiser. She’s spunky and dedicated to saving the Blackbeard Inn. After Steve picks up Blackbeard, she kind of volunteers to keep an eye on him and see if he’s really crazy. Initially she’s dating the football coach, Purvis, but he’s a smug jerk with no personality.

Emily Stowecroft: Hey, its Elsa Lanchester! A good few decades removed from Bride of Frankenstein, she plays the leader of the Daughters of the Buccaneers and when Steve meets her, she’s reading fortunes in a tent in full-blown crazy lady mode. She also provides incredibly hammy exposition (which is difficult to do) and is great fun to watch.

Silky Seymour: Joby Baker plays our villain. Black suit, goons, and a pencil-thin moustache, he’s stereotypically evil and plays the part with oily smugness. He encourages gambling but naturally cheats when it goes against him.

Visuals/Effects
Directed by Robert Stevenson (who was behind the camera for numerous Disney pictures, like Mary Poppins), the film’s strengths are set design (for the Blackbeard Inn) and special effects, which are pretty good for 60s live-action. Doesn’t hurt that most of the scenes are set at night to better cover the wires. There’s quite a few fun scenes where Blackbeard takes an active role in the shenanigans, such as stealing a police motorcycle, interfering in the track meet, and being a trump card in the final brawl between Steve and Silky’s goons (there’s even a nice finger-gun shootout).

Writing
Based on the book by Ben Stahl. Screenplay by Bill Walsh & Don DaGradi. The screenplay mixes a whole lot of plot elements in but keeps things well connected, but right after the track meet the movie slows down quite a lot before rallying for the ending. The real draw is Blackbeard misbehaving and trying to show a spark of human goodness so he can move on from limbo.

Sound
Original music by Disney regular Robert F. Brunner. The score is actually quite good, throwing in a lot of nice piratey touches like concertinas and harpsichords. The few songs in the film (because this is Disney, after all) are also quite catchy.




Conclusion
Pacing issue aside, I’m glad that it wasn’t mere rose-tinted glasses that led to fond memories of Blackbeard’s Ghost. Its actually a very solid family film that is 100% carried by Ustinov’s gleeful scenery chewing. If for no other reason, the movie’s worth watching for that.

Can't find a trailer, but you get the idea.

“You weren't listening. We never give anything away. What we do is bargain, trade.”

In case you haven’t noticed before, I’m a little bit… off-center in a lot of matters regarding taste. Case in point: while many who’ve read fantasy turn to the big named series as their preferred series (I’m talking about The Lord Of The Rings, The Chronicles of Narnia, The Dragonlance Chronicles (yes, I’ve read it, I have no excuse), Harry Potter or even The Inheritance Trilogy Cycle (no, I haven’t read it and need no excuse)) the series I look to with the most fondness are The Prydain Chronicles by Lloyd Alexander. Long story short, it’s a high fantasy series of five books that are based (somewhat loosely) on Welsh Mythology. It’s a tremendously underrated series that manages to cram in a lot of heavy themes and is just as deserving of the cinematic adaptation treatment as the others.

In fact, the series has already received the movie treatment back in the 1980s from no less than Disney itself with The Black Cauldron in 1985. Unfortunately, its got a reputation as the black sheep of the Disney animated canon. Let’s explore!

Story
Well, uh, considering it’s a movie based on the 2nd book of the series, its really radically different from the books aside from some of the core characters and themes. There is a legendary evil cauldron that can create invincible undead soldiers and a powerful evil lord is trying to find/use it to take over the world. Our hero, Taran (voiced by Grant Bardsley), is an orphan who grew up in a wizard’s remote cottage/estate and serves as Assistant Pig Keeper to an oracular pig. Taran is a headstrong youth who dreams of great heroic deeds and mostly by chance he gets caught up in ADVENTURE! Along the way, he encounters the Horned King (voiced by the ever-awesome John Hurt) (an amalgamation of the books’ villains Arawn Death-Lord and a warlord named the Horned King), the Princess Eilonwy (voiced by Susan Sheridan) (who sadly doesn’t have her signature red-gold hair, here its just blonde), Gurgi (voiced by John Byner) a short, furry, cowardly…thing, and Fflewdur Fflam (voiced by Nigel Hawthorne) a old bard (probably the saddest change from the books where he’s a young king of a distant land who prefers to go wandering around as a bard because ruling his kingdom is boring).

Right, so the storyline of the movie really diverges from the books, but I really don’t think they could’ve done otherwise back in the 80s, since animated movies didn’t really get sequels or series. For what it is, the changes from the book are a bit disappointing, but nothing actually deal breaking.

Visuals/Effects
Here’s where things get really interesting. Directed by Ted Berman and Richard Rich, the movie’s art direction and animation are right up there with the rest of the accepted Disney canon. The Black Cauldron looks gorgeous. Not just gorgeous, but there’s a lot of creepiness involved too, with the Horned King being one of the most malevolent looking villains I’ve ever seen in a Disney movie aside from maybe that guy from Night On Bald Mountain in Fantasia. And the guy gets one hell of a villain death scene (like that‘s a spoiler. It‘s a Disney movie for crying out loud). It’s not a fully unified artistic direction however, what with the Fair Folk looking and behaving like your standard Disney fairies (Doli is supposed to be a Dwarf, not a Pixie), but overall, the art department really brought their A Game to the movie, and it really made me nostalgic for traditional cell painted animation.

Writing
Okay, this is going to be long. Based on “The Chronicles of Prydain” by Lloyd Alexander, story by David Jonas, Vance Gerry, Ted Berman, Richard Rich, Al Wilson, Roy Morita, Peter Young, Art Stevens and Joe Hale; additional dialogue by Rosemary Anne Sisson and Roy Edward Disney; and additional story contributions by Tony Marino, Steve Hulett, Melvin Shaw, Burny Mattinson, John Musker, Ron Clements and Doug Lefler. Whew. The writing is not bad but struggles with trying to cram in and adjust two books worth of material into one movie. That’s really the biggest flaw of the film. Characters behave like they should, but the whole thing feels very rushed, which is unfortunate. Still, the general theme of Glory and ADVENTURE! carrying a much heavier price than those who would seek it out understand are right there from the start, and there are a couple of misty-eyed moments to be found by the end. Its quite dark for a Disney animated movie.

Sound
The soundtrack is by the legendary Elmer Bernstein and it works brilliantly with the movie. Can’t complain about it. Also, in a departure from essentially every other Disney movie, there are no songs. Yep. Not. One. Song. That should tell you this movie means serious business.

Conclusion
The Black Cauldron has a large number of flaws. It also bombed in theaters and kind of drove Disney’s animation arm into the ground until The Little Mermaid, which is a damn shame really. The movie has some of the most impressively fluid animation work I’ve seen in a while and a story that, while divergent from its source material, isn’t afraid to get its hands dirty with some pretty dark themes. It’s definitely worth checking out if you get a chance, and it really makes me wonder what a big budget, live action, book faithful take on the series would be like. Hmm. Guess I’ll just have to become a famous writer and some time in the future adapt the screenplay. Obviously.

Curiously enough, its not easy to find the actual trailer for it.
http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi93716761/

“Your torments call us like dogs in the night. And we do feed, and feed well.”

Not all stylishly dressed villains are vampires who shun sunlight to creep about in dark alleys. No, some travel about at all hours of the day, bringing with them the promises of fulfilling your deepest wishes while turning you into a twisted mockery of yourself. Which is the topic of our next subject. The 1983 Disney adaptation of Ray Bradbury’s Something Wicked This Way Comes.

You know. For the kids.

Plot
In Greentown, Illinois (an expy for Waukeegan, IL) in the, oh, probably 1940s, two young boys, who are opposites in personality but best buds, experience the arrival of (Cooger and) Dark’s Pandemorium Shadow Show, an assortment of strange carnie folk led by the elegantly dressed, top hat wearing Mr. Dark. The carnival blows into town and things get much worse before they get better.

Characters
Charles Holloway: Jason Robards is arguably the main character of the film since he goes through the most changes. He plays an aging librarian who’s spent his entire life with books and is now feeling too old to really connect with his young son. He’s tremendously sympathetic, and easily the only adult who can stand up against Dark’s sinister carnival

Will Holloway: Vidal Peterson is Charles’ son, a young, bespectacled, “nice kid.” He’s the meeker member of his friendship with Jim, but narratively, his relationship with his father is more important to the plot.

Jim Nightshade: Shawn Carson plays Will’s best friend, and the dark-haired, darker impulsed member of the duo. And yes, Nightshade is his actual last name. His dad’s been gone for years now, and Jim’s an antsy type who doesn’t really feel like he fits in with the town.

Tom Fury: Royal Dano plays a wandering lightning rod salesman who walks into town to ply his trade, eventually selling one to Jim. A very minor character in the book, he shows up a couple of times in the movie. While he looks like a hobo, he does have some pretty awesome boots.

Mr. Crosetti, Mr. Tetley and Ed the Bartender: Richard Davalos, Jake Dengel and James Stacy respectively. They’re three of the townsfolk who have business on main street. Crosetti’s a big, bearded barber and harbors lusty thoughts for beautiful ladies. Tetley’s just plain greedy and Ed is a former football champ who’s missing an arm and a leg (like, for real). Naturally, when the carnival comes to town, they’ve got reasons to be interested in the prizes being offered.

Miss Foley: Mary Grace Canfield is the schoolteacher of Jim & Will. A stern woman, she was regarded as the prettiest woman in town in her younger days. Obviously the carnival has something to offer her as well.

The Dust Witch: Pam Grier (Foxy Brown herself) plays the mysterious and spooky fortune teller of the circus and someone very close to Mr. Dark. She’s a really sinister figure.

Mr. G.M. Dark: Jonathan Pryce turns in a performance that’s just…evil. I’ll never be able to look at his Governor Swan role in Pirates of the Caribbean the same way again. Dark is the dapper, raven-bearded grandmaster of the carnival, the leader of these “Autumn People” and just…my God, Dark is evil. Honestly, I want to compare it to Alan Rickman’s Sherriff of Nottingham, but its less scenery chewing and more chilling nonverbal promises of unspeakable evil. The stuff Dark does in this movie, well, you’ll be sitting there going “what an asshole” during the showdown in the library. It is gloriously badass.

Mr. J.C. Cooger gets downgraded in the movie to a simple henchman, but he’s still important and an example of the Merry Go Round’s powers over time. Kid Cooger is just plain freaky.

Visuals/Effects
Directed by Jack Clayton, the movie blends both nostalgia for “the good ol’ days” of a simpler time with the downright creepiness of Dark’s carnival. Visually, there’s not a whole lot to say, but some of the special effects worked out pretty well, all things considered.

Arachnophobes take note, there’s a scene where a shitload of tarantulas attack our heroes. That’s not a rough estimate, either.

Writing
Ray Bradbury adapted his own novel for the film, so its quite interesting to see what he carried over and what he left out. For the most part, the story works, with the beginning through middle being outstanding at building the mood, but the big confrontation at the end just feels, underdeveloped and rushed, apparently someone else was also brought in “touch up” the script later. As an adaptation to the screen, it works really well at teasing the audience to check out the book, which is even darker, creepier and philosophical-er. Definitely worth a read.

Sound
Original score by James Horner. Its great and moody and brings the creepy.

Conclusion
While the title may be a Shakespearian shout out, the movie does indeed deliver on its promise. Something wicked does indeed arrive. A very interesting film and a fairly solid adaptation of one of the 20th Century’s most imaginative authors, its brought down a few pegs by its fumbled ending. Still, when Something Wicked This Way Comes hits it out of the park, its one of the ballsiest, least patronizing kids film’s I’ve ever seen. I promise you’ll never look at a carousel the same way again.