Showing posts sorted by relevance for query iron king. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query iron king. Sort by date Show all posts

Sunday, May 10, 2020

Shin Super Robot Sunday: Iron King


Last time I hinted that the next entry would be a Go Nagai story, which turned out to be wrong. I was looking at an outdated chart and for that, I apologize. There's one more tokusatsu show to cover before that. 

Iron King was produced by Nippon Gendai and Senkosha, and aired on Tokyo Broadcasting System (TBS) starting on October 8, 1972 and running for 26 episodes. A spiritual follow-up to the previous Silver Kamen show, both shows had former Tsuburaya Productions employees working on them. Iron King's design in particular resembles a bunch of Ultraman designs, particularly Ultra Seven.

     

The plot revolves around secret agent Gentaro Shizuka of the National Security Organization, who dresses like a singing cowboy (this makes some sense because pop singer Shoji Ishibashi played him) and his sidekick Goro Kirishima (who's dressed like a mountain climber) investigating terrorist threats. These threats take the form of the Shiranui Clan, descendants of a race of nomads that were exiled 2000 years ago by the Yamato Clan, the ancestors of the modern Japanese people. The Shiranui Clan are back and they want REVENGE. To that end, they deploy armored ninjas who can summon and control giant robots to overthrow the government. 


Naturally, to stop a giant villain you need a giant hero; in this case the titular Iron King, a 45 meter (148 ft) tall red and silver cyborg who can can brawl and produce energy blasts and beams. Surprisingly, its not the heroic Gentaro who transforms, but rather the goofy Goro, who activates the transformation by touching the medals on his hat and shouting “Iron Shock!” 

The Iron King form is powered by water, and Goro can only maintain that form for about a minute before becoming dehydrated. Human form Goro is incredibly thirsty as a result. Gentaro isn't helpless against the giant enemies, and wields the Iron Belt, which can turn into a sword or a whip, and is capable of damaging giant enemies. 

 

After the Shiranui Clan are defeated, a new threat arises in the Phantom Militia, who use dinosaur-themed giant robots, and subsequently the alien Titanians, who can assume giant insect forms. 

      

The most obviously robotic enemies were the Shiranui Clan's, with names like Vacumira (who has a powerful vacuum hand), Jairoges (who has a cutting hand), Silver Rider (who's got wheels instead of legs), and Double Satan (who can make duplicates of itself). 

Yes. DOUBLE SATAN. 

While the show was one of many, many tokusatsu series from the 1970s, it managed to see two video releases in the west. First in 2007, from BCI Eclipse, and a 2010 release from Mill Creek Entertainment.

 

Next time on Shin Super Robot Sunday: Crabsticks.


Sources


Sunday, October 11, 2020

Shin Super Robot Sunday: Super Robot Red Baron


Coming off the success of tokusatsu shows like Iron King and the non-giant robot Silver Kamen, Senkosha Productions would follow up with Super Robot Red Baron, which began airing on Nippon Television on July 4, 1973.

       
 
Perhaps the most notable staff member who was involved in the creation of the show was Ryu Noguchi (the pen name of manga artist and illustrator Masaru Noguchi). After working as an assistant for Shotaro Ishinomori for a time, he went independent and illustrated the manga adaptation of Alistair MacLean's 1955 novel HMS Ulysses for Weekly Shōnen Sunday. Red Baron was his first television work, where he created character designs. It was the start of a long and successful career in tokusatsu production, and he would work on the Kamen Rider, Metal Heroes, and, most significantly, Super Sentai series. He even did creature designs for Resident Evil in the 90s. 


As for the show itself, Red Baron tells the tale of the the evil Iron Masked Party led by Dr. Deviler/Devilar, who have stolen a bunch of giant robots from around the world and their designers and plan to use them to conquer/destroy the Earth. Kenichiro Kurenai, the designer of the the titular Red Baron (the last robot not stolen), makes it so only his younger brother Ken can operate it, before being kidnapped and killed by the Iron Masked Party. Ken, already a member of the Secret Science Investigation (SSI) group of crimefighters/spies/ninjas, takes control of the robot and uses it to defend the Earth, first against the Iron Masked Party, then against the Space Iron Party, commanded by Giras Q. 
 
After a slow start, the show was a success and was extended from its initially planned 26 episodes and introduced an entire new faction (the Space Iron Party). Ultimately the show ran for 39 episodes, apparently only ending when one of the main sponsors went bankrupt. Senkosha Productions would make spiritual sequels, but those are stories for another time. 

       
 
The comparisons to Mazinger Z are unavoidable. A hot blooded hero inherits a powerful robot made of a special metal (in this case Baronium) that he has to use against a secret society bent on world conquest. What's different here is the presence of the SSI. They're an Ultraman style support team of agents in snappy uniforms and their own character arcs and personalities. There's the strict but kind captain Daigo, the hot-blooded marksman Tetsuya, comic relief brawler Daisaku, Mari, a high kicking photographer and sort-of love interest for Ken. Aiding them is Inspector Kumano, a somewhat silly police officer on a bicycle who has a sword-cane in his umbrella and a gun in his bicycle pump.

       

As for the Red Baron itself, its a 40 meter (131 ft) tall, bright red colossus with a staggering array of weapons ranging from missiles, to beams, to kicks, to a rocket punch (called the Baron Punch). Its powered by a nuclear reactor, can fly at Mach 10, and after an upgrade, is capable of space travel. Fairly standard kit for a super robot. 


 
While overshadowed by bigger contemporary tokusatsu franchises, Red Baron did get a western DVD release in 2010 that included the entire series in one cheap boxed set. For whatever reason, the sequels did not. 
 
Next time on Shin Super Robot Sunday: Things get spooky as Mazinger Z runs across some deviltry.


Friday, November 13, 2009

“Let's face it, this is not the worst thing you've caught me doing.”

In the early summer of 2008, audiences were subjected to the first of a new wave of superhero films. While still delivering big action, it also opened the door for a unified setting that could bring hero franchises licensed to different studios together for the purposes of clever storytelling and making lots of money. Iron Man directed by Jon Favreau, seemingly came out of nowhere to knock mainstream audiences off their asses. I, of course, was closely following the quietly supportive buzz of the film and was not in the least surprised when it not only spawned a sequel, but also cluster of currently in-development Marvel Comics based films that all have the goal of dovetailing into a team movie. This makes the Avengers fan in me insanely happy.

Plot
Wealthy industrialist Anthony Stark is a brilliant but lazy and hedonistic heir to his father’s technology and weapons company. More interested in boozing and womanizing, Stark does eventually travel to Afghanistan to do a live product test of a new missile system for the Air Force. On his way back to base, he is critically injured and taken hostage during an ambush. His life saved by another captured scientist who implants an electromagnetic generator in his chest to keep the shrapnel in his body from reaching his heart (which would kill him) Stark and the scientist are told to build a missile, but instead build a means for Stark to escape; a suit of armor powered by the upgraded generator in Stark’s chest. And that’s all the flashback.

Stark escapes but his armor gets trashed. Back in the States, he convalesces and makes waves saying that he wants to take the company out of weapons sales until he can evaluate what went wrong (he found a lot of Stark weaponry in the terrorist camp). Holing up in his basement he refines his armor into a better form and then proceeds to take some matters into his own hands about getting his company’s weapons out of the hands of hostiles. That may prove tougher than it sounds.

Characters
Tony Stark/Iron Man: Robert Downey Jr. plays the playboy Stark to a tee in a fit of perfect casting. Stark is personable, brilliant and often bored by most of the less smart people around him. Tony Stark makes you feel he’s a cool exec with a heart of steel. You can tell how annoyed he gets when he has to explain something to someone that doesn’t get it the first time. Brilliant casting and acting combined with a character that always seeks refuge in audacity makes Tony Stark this movie’s badass.

Virginia “Pepper” Potts: Gwyneth Paltrow turns in a good performance as Stark’s patient personal assistant. Loyal to him, there’s also that strong hint of sexual tension between them, but also the realization that if they consummate their feelings, the friendship would fall apart because of who Stark is.

James Rhodes: Terrence Howard plays Stark’s Air Force buddy, a man with some clout in the service and a steadfast friend. Doesn’t really get to do a whole lot since its really more foreshadowing for the next movie (which replaces Howard with Don Cheadle)

Dr. Yinsen: Shaun Toub is the captured scientist who save Stark’s life and confronts him about finding a purpose in life.

Jarvis: Paul Bettany voices Stark’s personal computer system, a snarky, apparently sentient OS that gets uploaded to the Iron Man armor and tries to be the voice of reason for Stark’s more reckless decisions.

Obadiah Stane/Iron Monger: Jeff Bridges plays completely opposite the Dude as the guy who’s been running Stark Industries while Tony was out drinking martinis and bedding journalists. He doesn’t like Stark growing a conscience and taking tighter control of the company since (like it’s a spoiler) he’s the bad guy. Now if only he could fix that damn icing problem.

Raza: Faran Tahir (who was a Starfleet Captain in the Star Trek reboot) plays the shadowy, bald and later scarred leader of the Ten Rings, a multi-national terrorist organization bent on…well, their motives aren’t exactly clear, so he’s mostly there as foreshadowing of something that will eventually involve ten rings and has a connection to a certain Mongolian-connected super villain in the Iron Man mythos. Hopefully.

Agent Coulson: Clark Gregg plays a modest member of a government agency who’s full name is a mouthful (it gets abbreviated to S.H.I.E.L.D.). He has a very high interest in Stark’s activities and his new toy.

Visuals/Effects
You know, I didn’t originally associate Jon Favreau, the witty writer and star of Swingers to have a really good sense of action movie aesthetics. I’m glad I was wrong, because this movie is slick, not just in looks but in pacing. Shots are well laid out and the special effects, including a practical costume of each Iron Man suit (as well as really well done CGI versions) help flesh out a hefty feel for the movie. Fight scenes are fantastically done, and the movie has a great industrial feel to it. Also, after the credits there is the mother of all teases for this shared universe that Marvel Studios is working on.

Writing
Mark Fergus, Hawk Ostby, Art Marcum and Matt Holloway all worked on the screenplay, adapting the comics character originated by Stan “The Man” Lee, “Dazzlin’” Don Heck, Jack “King” Kirby and Larry “I don’t know his Mighty Marvel nickname” Lieber. As far as an origin story goes, the screenwriters did a great job of adapting a Cold War superhero to a modern setting while still keeping the core traits of Tony Stark and his supporting cast. They did a great job, and the dialog in particular is fantastic.

Sound
The original score by Ramin Djawadi (Blade Trinity) is a little bit on the generic side, but I think its more industrial cues were a great fit to the film and there are moments where the score just completely clicks with the visuals, like when Stark takes the Mk. II for a spin over the city. Of course, the movie wouldn’t be complete without Black Sabbath’s “Ironman” playing at the very end of the movie.

Conclusion
2008 was a great summer for movies, and I will defiantly proclaim Iron Man as my favorite of the bunch. Dark Knight had the best villain and Wall-E was the best damn movie of the year, but Iron Man is just a fantastic ride that merges crazy SCIENCE with fast paced ADVENTURE! that you wish you could be a part of. If you haven’t already seen it, amend this status right away.

Or I will find you.

Monday, February 22, 2010

“With no family name to live up to, I devoted myself to the sword.”

I’ve got a soft spot for epics set in ancient & medieval periods. In fact, that’s what really drew me to Asian films in general because Western period films with swords tend to follow the same kind of formula and I was curious to see how the other side of the world did them. Turns out they have their own cinematic formulas, but that’s besides the point. The stuff I just said is merely a highbrow justification for watching people with swords kick ass, and 2002’s Ying xiong (Hero to Western audiences) brings the pain.

Plot
Set in the 200s BC during a period of constantly fighting warlords, the powerful King of Qin is trying to make a push to unify the land, but he’s justifiably paranoid about several assassins that are after him, BUT, a police prefect from a small town has apparently taken them down. The King grants the prefect an audience to explain how he was able to achieve this stunning achievement. The action is then told in flashbacks.

Characters
Nameless: Jet Li is our main character, a man who’s grown up without a name or family, so everybody just calls him Nameless (which is technically a name so its really more ironic----stop it) and he devoted his entire life to swordsmanship because, well, not like he had any family ties. He is quite awesome.

King of Qin: Daoming Chen is our warlord, a man with a fierce reputation for brutality and strongarm tactics that makes sense for the man who became the first Emperor of China in 221 BC (the guy did some pretty despotic things in his lifetime). Anyway, he’s dangerous, but highly intelligent and classy, and about the only guy who can unite China and put an end to the constant fighting. And, in one of the flashbacks, he can hold his own in a fight too.

Sky: Donnie Yen is only in one scene, but it’s a badass one where Nameless fights him in a rain-soaked building. Sky’s a master of the spear, so he’s got reach on the swordsman.

Broken Sword: Tony Leung Chiu Wai is a very complicated character who’s in a bulk of the flashbacks. He’s Flying Snow’s lover, but also Moon’s mentor, which in some of the flashbacks is a love triangle. Anyway, he’s a really thoughtful swordsman who fought Qin in single combat but pulled back from killing the King. It’s a little hard to explain without spoiling the movie, but out of this assemblage of badasses, he is the biggest.

Flying Snow: Maggie Cheung is a beautiful and deadly swordswoman. She’s got a major grudge against Qin and is one of the most vocal against the King.

Moon: The always beautiful Ziyi Zhang is Broken Sword’s apprentice. More of a minor figure in the movie’s events, she does get into some trouble because of her hot blooded nature that leads to some groovy fight scenes.

Visuals/Effects
Yimou Zhang is an astoundingly good director. Crouching Tiger was very artistically done, but Hero takes that visual artistry and runs it up to insane heights. Each flashback has a different color palette that dominates the costumes, mood and emotion, so you’ve got Red, Blue, Green, White that sort of thing that contrasts with the Black of the “main” action of Nameless’ audience with Qin. With each you get an action sequence that goes big on doing insanely awesome visual stunts, and only one of them (the Blue fight) gets kind of annoyingly ridiculous. Now, a huge part of what makes the visuals work is the cinematography of Christopher Doyle. And I feel pretty bad about passing over the achievements of cinematographers/directors of photography in previous installments, because they are really important to setting the visual tone a director’s going for. So here’s a resolution: I’ll try to give more credit to these often unsung heroes of filmmaking when a movie's visuals are excellently done.

Writing
Feng Li, Bin Wang & Yimou Zhang wrote the screenplay, and the structure is interesting. Like I said, its told mostly in flashbacks, but the flashbacks themselves are often conflicting. It’s a credit to the writers that everything does make sense by the end as the real story is discovered by Qin (and the audience).

Sound
Tan Dun delivers another epic Chinese Marital Arts Movie score.

Conclusion
Ying xiong got a lot of publicity when it came out in the States because of the “Quentin Tarantino Presents” tacked on (he was also associated that way with Iron Monkey). And while I do appreciate the enthusiastic attention Tarantino brings to foreign films like these, Yimou Zhang’s style is strong enough to be taken for its own merits. This movie is awesome.


Nice trailer, too

Sunday, January 05, 2020

Shin Super Robot Sunday: Giant Robots: The Early Years


Robbie the Robot. Cultural Icon. Smooth Operator.

Not a giant robot


This project was born from several factors: 1) a lifelong love of giant stompy robots going back to Voltron and Transformers re-runs, 2) a semi-casual Twitter thread on Sundays appropriately named #SuperRobotSunday, and 3) my preference for longer form content as opposed to the character limits of Twitter. Thus, the failed Super Robot Sunday is reborn as Shin Super Robot Sunday, a historical survey of giant robots and mechs.
 
However, in order to conduct a survey of mechs through the ages, we first have to define what a “mech” is. A giant robot is easy enough to define. Its a robot. That is giant. Robbie the Robot, for all his charm, is not a giant robot. But a giant robot can also be a mech, like in the case of Gundam or BattleTech. Where the robot is directly operated by a person, usually from a cockpit or internal control unit. “Mecha” is a Japanese abbreviation of “mechanical” and was broadly applied to any mechanical devices before also being applied to a genre of fiction that is centered around the use and application of giant robots, piloted robots, giant monsters, cyborgs, and other advanced technology, usually in an application of some kind of super science. Its a broad category with a lot of wiggle room that includes Japanese tokusatsu (live action special effects dramas) series like Godzilla, Ultraman, and Kamen Rider as well as general cyberpunk where the focus is centered on humans dealing with advancing technology. The big, meaty center of the genre, however, remains mechs and other giant robots.


Here's Tobor the Great defending America from Communist spies. 

Also not a Giant Robot.

For the purposes of clarity, I'll be referring to the genre as “Mecha” and to piloted giant robots as “mechs.” Power Armor, which is similar to mechs in that it is a suit operated by someone inside, is different by virtue of being smaller, and also “worn” by the operator as opposed to “piloted.” Iron Man uses a suit of power armor, but the Hulkbuster armor is closer to a mech. The lines can blur, and there are mechs that have more than a little bit of biological elements to them, mechs with relatively hard science powering them, mechs powered by science so vague it might as well be magic, and mechs powered by actual magic. 


The Top Hat that started it all


The roots of giant robots go surprisingly deep. Artificial humanoids go back as far as Talos from Greek myth. In 1868, Edward S. Ellis published The Steam Man of the Praeries, a dime novel about a pair of characters who encounter a steam powered metal man invented by a teenager and they get into adventures. 





Curiously enough, the titular Steam Man would see a five issue miniseries from Dark Horse Comics in 2015. The Steam Man was written by Joe R. Lansdale and Mark Alan Miller, drawn by Piotr Kowalski, and colored by Kelly Fitzpatrick, and has a truly giant robot sized version of the Steam Man fighting against giant monsters and alien threats. I only recently found out about this comic, so I can't speak to its quality, but a giant steam powered robot in a top hat punching Martians in the face has got to count for something.


In 1880, Jules Verne published La maison à vapeur (The Steam House) which features a giant steam-powered, piloted mechanical elephant that pulls a house on wheels. H. G. Wells' 1897 serialized novel The War of the Worlds features the Martian Tripods, which while not described in great depth, but are piloted by the Martian invaders and qualify as early mechs.

 
In 1920, Czech writer Karel Čapek wrote the play R.U.R.  (Rossumovi Univerzální Roboti or Rossum’s Universal Robots in English). The play debuted in 1921, and gave the world a name for these mechanical men: Robot. Karel credited his brother Josef with coming up with the name, deriving it from Czech words for “forced labor” and “slave.” Fitting, considering the robots of the play (closer to cyborgs or androids as we understand them in fiction) are used as thinking tools until they rise up and KILL ALL THE HUMANS.  




Japan enters into the genre in 1931 with Ōgon Bat (Golden Bat). Named after a cigarette brand and wearing a gaudy outfit with a groteqsque golden skull, Ōgon Bat was a product of the Kamishibai street performance industry (basically illustrated panels narrated by a storyteller) who is considered Japan's first costumed superhero character and is arguably one of the first in the world, debuting the same year Walter B. Gibson began writing The Shadow, and predating The Phantom by three years and Superman by seven years. Ōgon Bat was successful enough to spin off into manga (Japanese comic books, for those not familiar), a 1966 live action movie starring Sonny Chiba, and an anime series (Japanese animated show, for those not familiar). The hero isn't a mech, but had a villainous piloted humanoid robot named Dai Ningen Tanku as an adversary. I managed to find this clip of a Kamishibai slide show featuring Ōgon Bat defeating a giant robot at sea. Youtube's auto-generated subtitles are...lacking, but enough to get the gist of the plot.  









Speaking of Superman, the second episode of the Fleischer Studios cartoon featured giant robots. The Mechanical Monsters was released in 1941. A mad scientist uses an army of giant robots to commit crimes. The robots are notable for being large, capable of transforming into a flight mode, and having enough storage space in their torsos to carry one Lois Lane.  
 







1948 would prove to be a fateful year. French animation director Paul Grimault and screenwriter/poet Jacques Prévert began production on The Shepherdess and the Chimney Sweep (based on a Hans Christian Anderson story). Production suddenly halted in 1952 and the movie was released in an unfinished form. A low-budget English dub was released for the 1952 cut called The Curious Adventures of Mr. Wonderbird. Through a series of travails, Grimault eventually completed the film as Le Roi et l'Oiseau (The King and the Mockingbird) in 1980. In the film, the cross-eyed tyrannical king King Charles V + III = VIII + VIII = XVI rules the kingdom of Takicardia harshly and has a piloted mech that features prominently (and destructively) in the story's climax. The movie is considered an animation classic, and the co-founders of Studio Ghibli, Hayao Miyazaki and Isao Takahata were heavily influenced by it. 





The early history of giant robots is fascinating to track down, because information is so scant and spread out across a variety of adventure story mediums. However, 1956 would change the course of giant robots, and establish Mecha as a genre of its own. 

Next time on Shin Super Robot Sunday: Bigger than big! Taller than tall!


Sources












Monday, April 02, 2018

Pink Slime: The Name of the Wind (part 1)



2007 saw the publication of The Name of the Wind, the first book of the as-yet incomplete Kingkiller Chronicle trilogy by Patrick Rothfuss. In the decade since its release, it has been hailed as a modern classic to almost universal critical praise. On Amazon, it sits with a 4.6 out of 5 rating from 7,122 reviews. Goodreads rates it at a 4.55 out of 5. Critics laud it as being as good as A Song of Ice and Fire or, if they're insane, The Lord of the Rings.

I gave it an honest shot. 

I really did. Went into it with the expectations that it has an interesting magical system and a good setting.

I abandoned this book after 10 chapters, almost 100 pages, and one week. I haven't hated the reading experience this much since The DaVinci Code.

Therefore, this is not a “review” in the traditional sense. This is a post-mortem for my aborted read-through, because when I say that this book is badly written, I want you to see the full chapter notes where I point out examples of my argument. Then there's going to be a wrap-up.

This will take several posts.

Chapter Notes:

Prologue:
We have a sleepy inn in a sleepy village. We have a ginger barkeeper who is waiting to die. Some mood setting, but that's it.

Chapter 1:
Some villagers are drinking in the inn and one of them's telling a story about an old timey hero who could do magic by knowing the names of things. Then a friend of theirs comes in all bloody and scratched. His horse was killed by a magical stone spider...thing and the falling horse killed it. We are told this instead of being shown. The barkeeper, Kote, knows its called a scrael and they determine that it can be burnt by iron. The villagers call it a demon and wonder what to do next.

Fast forward a few hours and Kote returns to the inn to clean up. He does so for several pages. A young brown man named Bast shows up with a bowl of soup and calls Kote “Reshi.” He's his magical apprentice/cabana boy. Why he shares a name with an Egyptian Cat Goddess eludes me. The two talk about the scrael and how it was disposed of by the local priest “who did all the right things for all the wrong reasons.” Kote, who knows what the things are and the danger they pose to a village of innocent people, did nothing in the disposition of the monster's body except lowkey make sure they disposed of it properly. This is somehow better than what the priest did.

Our hero.

Again, we are told what happened, but instead we got to see Kote sweeping floors and talking snidely about the local rubes.

He eats soup, stares at his room, stares at a locked chest before going to bed.

Riveting.

The next day there's village small talk and rumors about King Whatshisface and a war and taxes being raised and the roads being especially perilous.

So thus far we've established that our seeming protagonist is a world-weary man not yet thirty with considerable magical knowledge and an unwillingness to do the right thing when his neighbors are frightened and imperiled.

The prose is standard, but chooses to go into flourishes at weird points, and some sentences repeat their information in tandem. “When Kote's eyes fell on the chest they did not dart quickly away. They did not slide slyly to the side as if he would pretend it wasn't there at all.” 

That's two sentences that say the exact same thing. That's not good writing. Word economy is already a problem.

Chapter 2
A short one, at least. Its a perfectly beautiful autumn day, which is apparently rare in “the real world.” This is untrue, because I regularly experience about a month's worth of perfect autumn days every year in rural Ohio. They're gorgeous. Maybe he's just English. No, he's from Madison, Wisconsin. I've BEEN to rural Wisconsin in the fall. Its beautiful! I don't get what he's saying. Its also warm and dry and autumn and fields are ripening. Better start getting those harvests in, boys, or its going to be a hard winter.

Some scribe creatively named Chronicler has his horse and a bunch of money and belongings stolen by exceedingly polite former soldiers turned bandits. Turns out he's smart enough to keep a bunch of money socked away in a shoe and they didn't get that. Its an okay scene, I suppose, but feels like a waste to have its own chapter.

That's it. Just a character establishing chapter. Reasonably good, but pure fluff.

Chapter 3
Kote is in his inn and some woodworker brings in a wooden sword hanger/plaque that Kote commissioned. Its made of weird wood that was hard to work with. Bast is surprised that Kote would get something like that. Kote then hangs his sword up there, which is a special snowflake design that is “not a familiar shape,” which...what? How so? If the village is vaguely Western European, then their standard swords are probably cruciform arming swords, but...the description of “Folly” here tells me absolutely nothing about what it looks like. “It looked as if an alchemist had distilled a dozen swords, and when the crucible had cooled this was lying in the bottom: a sword in its pure form. It was slender and graceful. It was deadly as a sharp stone beneath swift water.” 

Yes, but WHAT THE HELL DOES IT LOOK LIKE THAT MAKES IT DIFFERENT FROM STANDARD ARMING SWORDS? Is it curved? Is it single-edged? Does the head broaden closer to the tip like a falchion? Is it a rapier? Rapiers are thin. Are you trying to tell me that its “foreign” because crucible steel making originated in India and that's why it doesn't look like anything local? If that's the case, then why not also mention the very distinct style of hilt that Indian smiths put on every single weapon they got their hands on.

Here's an Indian khanda sword I found on Wikipedia. That style of hilt is extremely common in Indian designs.

JUST DESCRIBE WHAT THE FURSHLUGGINER SWORD LOOKS LIKE.

And then a bunch of travelers arrive and the inn's busy for a change and people are having a good time and someone calls Kote by the name “Kvothe the Bloodless.” Kote makes up some cover story about an old arrow injury to his knee (this was written several years before Skyrim), and has Bast drug the poor sod's drink so he falls asleep sooner.

The next day the travelers leave and Kote buys some thick leather gloves & an apron from the blacksmith and an iron rod. Then he closes the inn up early.

Chapter 4
Chronicler is walking toward the village of Newarre when night falls and he finds a bonfire that smells of burning hair and rotting flowers and is being tended by Kote, who's bundled up thickly except for his red hair. He grudgingly allows Chronicler by the fire and talks down to him about the dangers in the woods. Then the dangers in the woods attack, five of those spider-like scrael. Chronicler is useless in the fight and bumps his head, fading in and out of consciousness, which is great because then we might've had to experience a fight scene and who in their right mind would want that when you can tell instead of show?

Chronicler passes out after trying to stand up and an injured Kote carries him back to town.

Chapter 5
Bast complains to Kote about running off into the woods alone to fight scrael. They argue. Not like master & apprentice. Not like comrades in arms. They argue like lovers. Which would actually be really interesting opportunities for exploring those kinds of characters in a Medieval-like setting, but Bast has been established as spending most of his free time with the young women of the village. This is tonal dissonance. Kote's wounds are tended too and he goes to sleep. Bast watches him sleep, brushes his hair out of his face, and softly sings to him, but no homo, bro.

Part the Second
Part the Third
Part the Fourth

Monday, February 12, 2018

Appendix N Review: Three Hearts and Three Lions



Where, oh where, to begin with this one? There's so much packed into Poul Anderson's 1961 novel Three Hearts and Three Lions that a thorough review would go deep into spoiler territory. And its only about 200 pages.

Okay. First, the plot. Holger Carlsen is a Danish-born engineer and former college athlete living in Pre-WWII America. When the war breaks out, he returns to Denmark and hooks up with the Danish Resistance and during a desperate mission to extract a scientist to Sweden, a bullet grazes his head and he passes out.

Waking up, he discovers himself naked in a forest with a horse waiting nearby with a set of clothes, weapons and armor. As you do.

The horse's name is Papillon (French for “butterfly”) and with the stallion, he rides to a cottage and gets advice from an old witch who sets him up with a dwarf guide named Hugi. Holger wants to know two things: How to get home, and who is this famous knight with a shield with three hearts and three lions that he's supposed to be.

He encounters a young swanmay named Alianora. She's a human girl who was gifted a cloak that allows her to change into a swan. She, like most of the other people in this world, speak in a stylized dialect meant to sound archaic that takes some getting used to on the page.



After barely evading entrapment by the Elven King Alfric of Faerie, Holger has a run-in with Morgan Le Fay, who knows him from his forgotten past, and he and Alianora begin to fall in love, though his desire to return to the Earth that he knows prevents him from acting on his feelings for her.

Holger finds himself swept up in a grander cosmic conflict as a champion of Law against the fickle and deadly Faerie armies of Chaos. Werewolves! Magic Swords! Dragons! Riddling Giants! Trolls! Heroic Saracens! Comic Relief Wizards! Throwing an Elf into another Elf! True Love!



Much has already been said about how much this story in particular has had an influence on the development of Dungeons & Dragons. Law and Chaos are foundational for the alignment system. The rapidly regenerating troll at the end that can only be permanently harmed by fire is translated directly into the Monster Manual instead of the traditional Scandinavian rock troll (though the fight with this troll is far more hardcore than anything I've seen presented in other stories). Swanmays, Nixies, Unicorns, all have their folkloric predecessors, but again, they are translated almost directly into D&D creatures from this book.


The Paladin, though, is one of the most famous/infamous D&D classes, and it comes from this book. Everything the Paladin class does in Advanced Dungeons & Dragons is done in this story. Detect Evil? Yep. Character is bonded to a special mount? Yes. Immune to fear? Yes (though in Holger's case, much of it comes from being a man of action and an engineer trying to figure out practical reasons for why magic is happening around him) Laying hands on the sick to heal them? Symbolically, yes. Losing certain protections and bonuses when he begins to have impure thoughts? Yes.

Its all there. This book is the bridge between Charlemagne's heroic knightly warriors and Gygax's knights in heavenly armor. I knew that going in, and it still blew my mind to see it in action. (Incidentally, I recommend reading The Song of Roland, where Charlemagne's paladin Roland gets his famous last stand. Badass action and Charlemagne pulling on his beard in grief abounds)

The key to Holger's powers is faith. True faith. Cold Iron, the Cross, and sincere invocations of Jesus Christ all cause physical harm to the forces of Faerie, who are frequently described as having no souls. The tangible power of faith on this strange world shifts Holger from being a modern agnostic to someone who converts to Catholicism by the end (Anderson himself was apparently agnostic with a favorable attitude toward Christianity)



The book features a lot of lighthearted comedy. Holger's no idiot, but he can be a blockhead, especially around pretty ladies. The book takes frequent pauses to think up scientific reasonings for things, like how a dragon would work, or the principles behind a dagger that can be lit on fire. These excursions never get too long, but occasionally they get close.

Then, when the book gets serious, it fully commits. When Holger is presented with the challenge of identifying a werewolf that is terrorizing a town, he gets put into an emotionally difficult situation. Without spoiling it, he has to choose between two grim options, and in true Paladin form, chooses a third.

This book is nothing like the deconstructionist cynicism clogging modern bookshelves. Over and over and over, Holger Carlsen proves himself to be a true-blue White Hat style hero without ever becoming boring. Human and flawed, Holger's a dope with the ladies and a hearty drinker, but at every turn he tries to do good, and in return, becomes a better person and betters the world around him. This is the kind of heroism I've been starved for, and here it is, fully realized by a Grandmaster of Science Fiction.

I can't recommend this book enough. Read it, if for no other reason than to understand how Paladin characters are meant to be played.

Gorgeous Darrell K. Sweet cover for the Baen edition

And some say he waits in timeless Avalon until France the fair is in danger, and some say he sleeps beneath Kronborg Castle and wakens in the hour of Denmark's need, but none remember that he is and has always been a man, with the humble needs and loves of a man; to all, he is merely the Defender.

He rode out on the wold, and it was as if dawn rode with him.”

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

NOT the E-2 Aircraft, University of Iowa Mascot or Alan Alda

Its rather nice seeing comic book culture coming up from the underground these days. I think a large part of it has to do with the fact that the 20-30 somethings rising to prominence in entertainment were all part of that “Saturday Morning Cartoon” set that grew up in the 80s. And now that this precious 18-35 demographic is graduating college and gaining disposable income, they’re spending it on what they want to see, which seems to be revivals of the stuff they grew up on (see Transformers).

Next weekend, Spider-Man 3 cometh to theaters nationwide. Spidey’s been an icon for decades now, and (next to Wolverine & Captain America) the public “face” of Marvel Comics (like Superman, Batman & Wonder Woman over at DC). Marvel’s usually done right by Spidey (we WILL NOT mention the Clone Saga) and he’s had numerous TV series and crossovers and the character himself is just so damn likable that he’s rightfully cemented himself as a top character.

But he’s not my favorite. Neither is Wolverine (who, while a badass when he’s done right, is just WAY too overexposed that its become a cliché), nor Superman or Batman. Not even Captain America, even though I’ve got nothing but love for the character. Deadpool comes real close, but no, top honors go to Clinton Francis Barton!

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Pirate Boots! PIRATE BOOTS!


“Who,” you ask? The simple version is that Clint Barton was a trickshooting carney who wanted to do some good but ended up on the wrong side of the law and fought Iron Man a couple times before reforming and joining the Avengers (you can look up the longer version if you like, but it might make your head explode). Since then he’s been the quintessential Avenger, spitting in the face of danger, mouthing off to anybody (even his mentor, Captain America) and saving the world at the last minute with nothing but an arrow. No armored suit, no powers of a god, just an everyman with top level hand-eye coordination. He doesn’t even have the super soldier serum that Cap was injected with. Since the ‘60s, Clint’s probably quit the Avengers more times than anybody else, but he’s always come back, more times than anybody else. In the 90s, he even took over leadership of a team called the Thunderbolts (who were former b-level villains who masqueraded as heroes in order to conquer the world, but found out they actually liked being heroes and tried to reform legitimately) before coming back to the Avengers again only to get himself blown up in the incoherent “Avengers Disassembled.” I was sad when it happened, and more than a little pissed since it was at a time when I was just getting back into comics in college and Hawkeye was one of the main reasons I wanted to start reading again (The other reasons being Firestorm I, Blue Beetle II and Booster Gold, who all met grisly fates over at DC. Booster got better, and the new Firestorm is actually a pretty cool character, but I still haven’t forgiven DC for putting a bullet into Blue Beetle’s head)

Unlike a lot of kids, I wasn’t all that into Spider-Man and the X-Men. I was an Avengers fan, and trolled yard sales looking for old comic books, mostly for books that had Hawkeye on the cover. I even took up archer in late elementary school, not because I wanted to be like Robin Hood or even Green Arrow, but I wanted to be like Hawkeye. And that’s the thing really, Hawkeye resonated with me. Here was a guy who came up from humble beginnings, was kind of an outsider, wasn’t the smartest guy in the world but wasn’t stupid by any means, respected talent and merit more than reputation, wasn’t afraid of making stupid mistakes, and hid his insecurities (and boy howdy did the thought bubbles cover the panels when he was thinking) behind a big ol’ grin and a gaudy purple costume and a pair of pirate boots. I identified with all of that and still do. Even the pirate boots.


About a year or so after “Disassembled,” Marvel launched “House of M,” a big crossover about a reality warp by the now crazy Scarlet Witch (She’s a mutant and a longtime Avenger before going loopy in Disassembled and has WAY more confusing backstory). Anyway, thanks to her, Mutants are the dominant power in the world and her negligent daddy, Magneto, is basically king of the world (I probably should’ve mentioned the Magneto thing earlier). Anyway, it was an interesting idea but kind of fell flat as a miniseries, but it did do one thing, it brought Hawkeye back to life, who shot a bunch of arrows into Wolverine, sulked a lot when he found out he was supposed to be dead, then was killed again by Scarlet Witch.

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A LOT of arrows

BUT THEN…when the whole shebang ends and Scarlet Witch reverts everything back to the proper reality (albeit with a lot fewer mutants around), there’s evidence that our boy Clint is back among the living. Again. Fast forward to 2006. Aside from Civil War, it turns out that Clint has indeed come back to the land of the upright and has a lot of questions he’d like to ask the woman who was once his friend and killed him twice. He tracks down Scarlet Witch to the totally fictional Eastern European country of Wundagore and finds out she’s depowered herself and has no memories of anything to do with the Avengers or superhero stuff. Then they shag, since he stopped a street urchin from mugging her and has been harboring a huge crush on her for 30 years or so (consider that in that time she married a synthezoid/robot-man and sort of had kids with him, and Hawkeye himself bounced from failed relationship to failed relationship until he married a woman who later died while saving him in a hell-like dimension and her soul is still technically trapped there, I think. Continuity is not easy.)

Anyway, aside from a couple of mini-series, the best place to find Hawkeye stories are in any of the older Avengers or Avengers West Coast titles. Inside Avengers circles, Hawkeye is easily one of the top five most popular, so he’s been around for a lot of their big storylines. The Essential Avengers volumes are a pretty affordable place to start looking (albeit without color)

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This about sums him up. He single-handedly takes down Deathbird, a villain the X-Men routinely have trouble with, then plants a big wet one on her. Because it was funny.